One year ago today, I was a nervous wreck. I had found out through my November DTC group that referrals were on their way. The night before, I had even called DHL and pretended to be someone from my agency. I asked if there were any packages on the way from Beijing. The nice lady I talked to gave me a package number that I tracked all night long. I saw the package was delivered at 8:30 in the morning and after that, I just sat and stared at the phone. I kept checking my email to see when referrals would start popping up. I was a nervous wreck and it was all I could do to keep from calling my agency and screaming at them 'GIVE ME MY BABY!'. But I just waited....and waited....and waited. Finally at noon, I was about to go insane. What could POSSIBLY be taking them so long??? Geez! Everyone else in my DTC group had already got their referral call. Where in the hell was mine??? Then, I started to panic. Maybe I didn't get a referral? Maybe something was wrong with my paperwork and they weren't going to give me a referral. I made myself sick with that thought for about a half an hour and then the phone rang! It was my agency calling to tell me that I had a daughter and that she was beautiful. Well. I cried myself silly and that was all I heard from the rest of the conversation. Everyone says to have a sheet with you when you get the call so that you can ask questions and get some info about your baby. HA! I had the sheet by the phone but I never wrote down a single thing or asked a question. She ended the phone call by telling me that she had just sent an email with my daughter's picture and that I could come in to sign the paperwork at any time. I hung up the phone and ran to the computer and saw this picture. I cried and laughed at the same time. What a sweet and funny little face!
As soon as I regained my composure from the phone call and seeing the little cookie face for the first time, I jumped in the car and took off for my agency. I think I got there in about 30 seconds. As I walked into the office, they had balloons and a pink baby t-shirt with the agency logo waiting for me. I cried again. We went back to the conference room and they showed me the other referral pictures. 
And then, she asked if I wanted to accept this baby! Uhhhh....HELLO!!! Hell, YES! After that, I signed some things and then went to go track down Grandmumsy and Auntie J. Grandmumsy got to see The Kid for the first time in a hospital waiting room. I'm sure everyone else sitting there thought one of us got bad news because we were both crying like buffoons. Then we went to Auntie J's office and called and asked her to come downstairs. As she walked up to my car (with Ms. Rhonda serving as photographer), I held up The Kid's picture. If anyone from her building happened to be looking outside, I'm sure they thought Auntie J was having a fit or seizure of some kind.
At the time, I would have said that that was the best day of my life. If only I had known how much better things were going to be. I look into my daughter's face sometimes and can't remember a time when she wasn't right next to me. I can't remember what it was like to not want to rush home everyday to see her sweet little face or how much I can miss her throughout the course of a day. Some people seem to think that I must miss my life before The Kid, but I guess what they don't realize is that before The Kid, I was missing exactly what I have right now.
1 comment:
I know that being a single mom is tough, but you're doing a great job! I'm so very very proud of the kind of mom you are. I love it when you walk through a door or around a corner and she squeals "Maaaaa!!" and runs to you. It breaks my heart, but in a good way.
Referral Day, up until Gotcha Day, was the happiest of my life. I went to the grocery store to buy you and Grandmumsy flowers right afterwards, and I started crying in front of the very nice, but very confused, flower counter gal. I think I showed R's picture to everybody in the store. Most people would politely smile and send me the "You're a creepy nut job - get away from me" psychic vibe. But for crying out loud...she was my beautiful niece.
If Grandpa Jim and Great-Grandma Imy could have hung around long enough to meet her, I'm sure God would have had to hog tie them to take them away from your lovely, adorable, ornery little girl. They would have been (and I'm sure they are) over the moon in love with her.
Ours is a tiny little family, but a mighty and very loving family. I'm so happy that we can help you show your daughter how much she is loved and how special she is to us.
ILY Both!!
Auntie J
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