Dear Coby and Devon's mother,
I enjoyed sitting next to you at the mall play area yesterday. I always find it fascinating to meet new and different people. I was very interested in the fact that you have two large Amazonian children. Although the precious angels were clearly much taller than the posted height of 42 inches to play in the play area, you clearly wanted to teach your kids that rules are made to be broken. And for that, I say BRAVO! I also thought it was great parenting on your part to not pay ANY attention to the little rascals as they jumped from the tops of one piece of play equipment to another. Don't worry about all the little kids your adult sized 7 and 8 year old boys could have crushed if they fell. I totally agree. That's not your problem. And I also thought it was a great idea to let them run around as fast as they could, knocking little children in their path over. Boys need their exercise. And, as a mom, I know how hard it can be to find time to keep in touch with your friends. So, I totally understood you calling up one of your gal pals and telling her all about your drunken weekend exploits and how much you hated that 'b*tch' who thought she was so hot. From your accurate and very descriptive account, I can't see why anyone would care for her. And I'm sure none of the kids within earshot heard what you were saying. Kids don't pay any attention to what grownups say or do.
Well, I do hope we meet again sometime, because I would like to deliver this letter to you in person.