Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Sad and Happy all rolled up into one

Auntie J was over tonight for a visit with The Kid and I. I was putting my car back in the garage when I came inside to see both of them with tears in their eyes. It turns out, the kid fell and scraped her knee. Auntie J is a big ol' softie so I wasn't surprised that she was about ready to weep. The Kid on the other hand?? She's usually so rough-and-tumble! I have figured she would be the one telling ME to suck it up and quit crying in a couple of years. As it turned out, she was hurt and Auntie J said she kept saying 'mom-mom-mom' while she was crying. Talk about breaking my heart!! Well, I scooped The Kid up and gave her some lovin' and kissed her boo-boo and for the first time in almost 8 months....I felt like The Kid's mom. Secretly, all this time, I've just felt like I was babysitting somebody else's kid. Kinda like when you move to a new place, you feel like you are staying in your great aunt's house for awhile.

It was hard to feel like I was a mom 8 months ago. I had traveled to another country, had a major travel ordeal, and just made it to China with a few hours to spare to comb my hair and not look like I had been on a plane or in an airport for the last three days. Then we walk into this room and somebody hands you a baby and they are trying to tell you things but you aren't listening because you are HOLDING A BABY, for cryin' out loud! Ever since that day, I had wondered if I would ever really feel like The Kid's mom. Well, I feel like I can now, OFFICIALLY, call myself a mom. Next thing you know, I'll be wearing high-waisted jeans and getting my hair permed.

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